For the past 9 months I had been preparing for an unmedicated birth. Our society thinks that's crazy. Why would you willing go through pain when our medical advances have made it possible to bypass that? Well there are many reasons, but I won't go into that now. Just know I had done tons of research and knew this was the best thing for my baby and me.
I wanted to get this down while it's fresh in my memory, so that I can get as many details as possible. So here we go...
It was Tuesday, May 23rd at 1:30 in the morning. I woke up with annoying back pain that I attributed to normal pregnancy sleeping pain. I had been sleeping horribly for the past couple of weeks, and at 40 weeks and 2 days I was ready for this baby to come!
After a little bit I realized I was having mild back contractions. I started timing them and they were coming 10 minutes apart and lasted 1 minute each. Kyler and I ended up on the couch watching tv from 2-5 that morning. By then my contractions stopped and I was able to go back to sleep.
I decided to call into work just in case. I was hoping the contractions would come back and stay! Kyler and I ran errands, cleaned the house, everything to get things going again. I had contractions off and on all morning and afternoon but they finally came and stayed around 1-2 pm. We were timing them and they were still 8-10 minutes apart lasting about 1 minute. My midwife suggested I labor at home until they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart.
So we waited...
I contracted..
Kyler timed them..
And hours later, the closest they got was really only 5-7 minutes.
Throughout all of this laboring at home Kyler was incredible. (Just like he was throughout labor at the hospital.) He stayed right by my side, drew me a bath, did counter pressure whenever I needed, reminded me of my breathing when he could tell I was losing control, put on movies to help distract me. He was my rock.
Every time I thought it couldn't get much worse.. it did. After talking to Marta (our amazing aunt who is a labor and delivery nurse,) we decided to head to the hospital. She heard me go through a contraction in the background of her phone call with Kyler and said that even though they weren't super close, they sounded intense enough to head in. And I am so glad we did!
We got to the hospital around 11 pm. They checked me and admitted me. Yay! It was actually happening.
After getting us settled in a room, Kyler turned on my hypnobirthing tracks, turned on our battery operated candles, and hung up my birth affirmations so I could see them as I labored. It was just like I pictured it!
One thing I didn't picture for myself was back labor. Constant. With every contraction. Of course I'd heard about and learned about some things to help, but for some reason I just never thought that that would happen to me. But it did. And it didn't stop until she was here!
A list of things that helped me get through labor:
-Fentanyl. They gave me two and half doses of this over the first three hours and then cut me off. It didn't numb or stop the pain, but it definitely dulled it a little!
-Hypnobirthing tracks. Although I had a hard time concentrating on the words, the familiar sound helped me relax.
-The shower. The hot water on my back was heaven.
-My birthing ball.
-Vocalizing. We learned about vocalizing in our hypnobirthing class and I thought, "I'll probably be quiet during labor." Ha ha. Not even close. Vocalizing helped me ride through each contraction and also helped me hear myself coping. I could tell when I was losing control and tried to pull myself back together again.
-My nurses. Every single one of them were amazing and supportive!
-My midwife. I literally couldn't have done it without her. She talked me through the extreme contractions. Hearing her tell me I was doing a great job and that I was so strong gave me some of the will power I needed to keep going.
-Kyler. Like I said before, he was my rock through it all. He never left me to do it alone. Always holding my hand, rubbing my back, feeding me ice chips. He worked so hard and I am forever grateful for him!
Throughout labor my midwife checked me twice.. And both time is was the exact same as when I got to my labor and delivery room. The first time she told me the baby was also facing to the right and we needed her to turn But my contractions were still 5 minutes apart and not strong enough to turn the baby.. So to help with all of that I chose to pump to see if that would stimulate harder contractions. I didn't feel like it was doing anything. And sure enough she checked me again and I hadn't dilated. I was so discouraged. At that point I almost said, "Just give me the epidural!"
Julie, my midwife, could tell I needed help. So she suggested breaking my water. As soon as she did that she was able to stretch me to a 9. A 9! I was so so close! And baby had turned! Little did I know the hardest part was about to start. Pushing.
My mother in law and Kyler each held a leg and my mom was the camera woman behind me. My team was all ready, but was I? Did it really matter? I couldn't back out now!
I pushed for probably about 30 minutes, but they felt like hours. I thought I would never get her out. This is the only time throughout labor that I really felt myself lose control. Screaming instead of vocalizing and at one point I simply said that I couldn't do it. But I had to. And I figured if I had to do it, I wanted to get it over with. So I pushed as hard as I could. After one of my pushes, Julie told me she could see baby's hair. She had hair!
The push that got her out should've felt the best, but it was actually the worst. I felt myself tear. It was excruciating. But she was here! I did it! They put that sweet baby on my chest and the rest is history. She was bright eyed and alert, ready to conquer the world.
The experience was so much more difficult than I thought it would be. Nothing could have prepared me. But it taught me so much, and for that, I'm grateful.
